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I crawled out of bed, still wearing my Cracker Barrel uniform from the night before and managed to make my way over to the coffee machine. I grabbed my pumpkin spiced coffee, walked over to the couch, and opened his laptop. It was like the television was somehow warning me. My whole body went numb. My thoughts began to race. Who is this naked girl on the screen? She looks a lot like me. Wait, wait, wait…that is me. I had never felt more betrayed, confused, and heartbroken in all my 25 years of living.
After a lot of thought during that relationship with a non-Mormon, I laid out exactly what struggles I was probably going to face: I was worried about my own faith. Now I try to put myself in his shoes and he has always had a problem standing firm in any decision so its hard for him to say no. All I can think about is the fact that his schedule means that I will have to be the one to shoulder all the parenting and household responsibilities. Basically nothing like reality. I knew that I couldn't possibly be alone. Of course she won't want to watch something that in her mind attacks her religion. Many, many lapsed Mormons catch the true vision of the gospel at some time in their lives and desire to repent and become observant again. If you have children how will they be raised. And frankly, you feel like such a loser. He has no idea now long it actually takes to finish boards and match.
Never marry someone with the goal of a post-marriage conversion. Raising our children as believers is proving to be very tricky. She has to decide for herself what she believes, but you can definitely help expose her to new ideas. We are indeed in two different places. Consider also the evolving perspective of the potential husband.